I always forget why it is that I dislike the Christmas season. It has everything that I love. Glitter, lights, watching my son get excited, and baking. So. Much. Baking. Then the New Year hits and it all comes flooding back. We end up with a pile of stuff and nowhere to put it. So, here’s a look at how you can de-clutter so that you don’t keep hitting your baby toe on everything that’s sitting out on the floor. Toss out the following to save your home and your sanity.
1. Any piece of wrapping paper that’s too small to actually wrap a gift with. Are you buying anyone a diamond ring soon? If not, then get rid of it. It’s not good for anything except for stocking stuffers and teeny, tiny ring boxes.
2. Any form of Christmas lights that don’t work. No. You are not going to put each light in to find out which one has gone out. Stop lying to yourself.
3. Magazines that are more than a year old. Except for Vogue. Don’t you even dare touch the Vogues.
4. Worn out and unmatched socks and underwear. It’s a long year. Some of our underwear tells just how long of a year it was. If the lace has holes in it or the elastics are fraying, throw them out.
5. Old makeup. Some makeup you can get away with keeping. Things like mascara or any lipsticks that doesn’t smell how they did when you bought them needs to hit the garbage.
6. Old products. The same goes for hair and skin products. I know that it seems like you’re wasting money by throwing it away, but no. You wasted the product by letting it go out of date. Don’t punish yourself by allowing it to eat your face or hair off.
7. Worn out bras. Fact of the matter is they most likely aren’t going to carry off what they’re intended to be used for. Not to mention, who needs that wire sticking into them every time they move.
8. Worn out sheets and old pillows. If you wouldn’t give it to company to use, then why are you putting yourself through it. If all they need is a good bleaching, then don’t fire them out yet. If bleach can’t even save them, let them go.
9. Boxes that you were “saving” for Christmas. Do you realize how much space boxes take up? If you didn’t use them at Christmas, then it’s time to get rid of them. We both know that by next Christmas you’ll have built your stock pile back up.
10. Empty beer bottles. Yet again, this is filed under “Why the hell do we have so many boxes?”. This is another huge space sucker. Especially if you’re too lazy to take them in and they build up for three years (like we are). Suck it up and get those bottles in.
11. Empty jars and storage containers. You know what I love about Tupperware and storage containers? That they come with lids. If you have three cupboards filled with containers and only two lids to use with them, then it’s safe to say that you can part with some.
12. Old phones and phone cases. I knew it was time to go through our phone drawer when I stumbled upon my old Blackberry from 1944. It’s pretty simple, you can take them right into your service provider. Same goes for phone cases. If you still have the first phone case you’ve ever used, chances are you wont be bringing it out of storage to slap on your iphone 7.
13. Stained and ripped towels and washcloths. These are your dirty little secret and they will only come out of the woodwork when you’re dying your hair or putting self tanner on. Keep one for your beauty rituals and give the rest to a friend that’s an actual hairdresser. She will use them more than you do.
14. Electronics that don’t work. My husband tells himself he’s going to take every electronic that’s ever been broken in to get fixed. You know how many have actually been fixed? None. Fucking none. By the time he moved receivers, x boxes, play stations, speakers and old computers out of here, we could have built the dogs their own damn room.
15. Old candles. Seriously. If you like the container that much, clean it out and find a purpose for it. If you just leave it knowing damn well you can’t burn it anymore, it’s just going to collect dust and annoy you.
16. Old toys. I don’t even care who’s toys they are. Kids toys, dogs toys, it doesn’t matter. If it can’t serve the function that it’s supposed to, then what’s the point. Especially at a time like after Christmas when everyone got brand new toys that don’t unravel or break when you touch them.
17. Anything that’s been in the freezer that you’ve forgotten about. I feel as though I don’t need to point out why you need to get rid of this stuff.
18. Old bills and paperwork. This is a gem that I need to tattoo on my husbands arm. No one, and I mean NO ONE has ever asked “Hey, do we still have that phone bill from 1997?”. I find that in our house this is a big one. If he had his way we would have furniture made out of old paperwork that he literally never has to look at ever again.
19. Accessories that you haven’t used in a decade. Sure, things do come back in style, but your taste might also change by the time that they do. You might not be the leopard print loving lady that you were in the past. Sell them and use the money to go towards something you would use right now.
20. Number 20 isn’t going to help with space for your home, but it will help your working electronics and mindset. Delete all of those old emails, photos, contacts, and apps you aren’t using. Do you know whay your iPad isn’t working as well as it used to? Because it has 5000 unopened emails and a shit load of apps that use up all of your space. Start the year fresh.
Just like that you’ll have more room to put your sons 500 piece racetrack that he received for Christmas (no joke, this has happened). If you don’t bite the bullet, more broken toys and electronics are going to materialize out of thin air. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Here’s to opening cupboards this new year without wanting to pack a bag and move away from the mess.