I don’t know about you, but this last year has been a complete mindfuck for me. I haven’t been working out. I haven’t been watching what I eat, I stopped writing because I just couldn’t find any words, and the book I’m halfway done writing came to a grinding halt. The pandemic fuckery is real in this house. I have, however, had to use these things to really take a good look at myself. What did I like? What did I dislike? How could I help myself to feel better?
The answers came in hot. For once, I didn’t care about external things. I didn’t have the urge to pick my body apart, or dye my hair or pick out the perfect outfit. Instead, I focused on how I could make myself happy internally. I realized I want to help people. That I could do something good with my time. So, I started learning.
It started with three courses, then moved to nine, then moved to sixteen. I started collecting courses like I used to collect handbags. I’m now an accredited herbalist that can practice herbal medicine, a certified crystal healing practitioner, a spiritual health and wellness life coach, and as of today, also have my nutrition courses so I can help with advanced diet and meal planning for those that need help in that area. Now, those choices might not make sense to you, but damn did they make my heart happy, (except for you, nutrition courses, you just really drove home that I don’t have the brain power to be a nurse). I feel happy, I feel accomplished, and my will to write has finally come back to me.
I know some of you are thinking “ Uuuuuuum you’re an asshole. I would never come and make an appointment to talk to you”. Well, I feel you. I get what you’re saying. You just haven’t met the recent me yet. The Stephanie that has taken years to grow and really find who she is and what she wants. For the first time in my life, I’m genuinely content. Not because of courses, but because of how I’ve learned to nurture relationships. How I’ve learned to see both sides of a situation, and how I’ve learned that helping people is what I’m meant to do. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still an asshole, just a different kind.
I think everyone should find something that makes them feel bad ass. And, when you find that thing, I won’t judge. Mine was herbs and plants, so I really have nothing to judge about. Do those things that might not make sense to other people, but make perfect sense to you. That’s what’s going to set you apart. Make your little unique light shine and I guarantee, happiness will follow. My husband constantly accuses me of being a witch because our house is slowly but surely filling with healing stones and tarot cards and sage. Well, keep throwing it out to the universe honey, now lay down and let me heal you with these stones lol. People might not get it and people might make fun, but you won’t care or feel like you have to prove anything because you know that at this moment in time, your soul is happy. So you have to be doing something right.
So, I hope you find those things that make your brain buzz. Those things that get you excited for your day and that make you feel accomplished and happy inside. I’m not perfect and oh good lord do I have so many flaws, but part of growing is embracing them. And if you ever need help embracing yours or if you need someone to talk to, I’m here. As a friend, as a professional (never thought I would say that one), and as someone who genuinely wants to help you find your special happiness. Let’s shine our quirky, weird, awesome lights together.