Ok, so this is a little awkward, but it really doesn’t have to be. Sometimes we have to kick it up a notch in the bedroom whether it be for a special occasion or maybe because you wrote a check to your man for a gift your ass now has to cash (thanks for the new bag lol). Not that you need an excuse, maybe you’re just feeling feisty! Whatever the case may be,the moral of the story is your man is about to get lucky. If you’re looking for a way to make it a little more spicy, then hold onto your panties. It’s about to get sexy and probably uncomfortable in here.

Lingerie

This is all going to be decided by your style and taste. Unless you’re really going to go out of your comfort zone. It’s also going to depend on your man. If he can’t undo a one clasp bra, then maybe you shouldn’t lean towards that corset that looks great but has thirty million clasps. I know that it looks sexy in the movies when something is unlaced, but if your man has giant gorilla hands, that delicate corset is going to end up in one big knot. Then you’ll be mad and no one will be having sex. Especially when you have to cut yourself out of a two hundred dollar corset with scissors. Note: If gorilla hands couldn’t undo the lace up corset, DO NOT let him attempt to cut you out of it with scissors. Unless you have some kind of stitches at the hospital fantasy you want to play out. You have so many options to choose from. Garter belts, bra and underwear sets, negligees, or for the not faint of heart, nipple pasties. Choose what makes you feel the best and the sexiest in. You can always start off more covered and undress your way into being more comfortable. And no I don’t mean by wearing a bra under a snow suit. You might have to be a little more comfortable than that.

Music

If you’re trying to set a mood, music is a great way to help things along. Plus, you have so many options of music styles that it can literally set the tone for you. If you plan on stripping that sexy new outfit off in a striptease, you can use a more upbeat playlist. If you’re going for more of a sensual night, then slow is the way to go. Either way, you might want to leave the gangsta rap off the playlist. Unless you have something planned that goes with that, and if that’s the case I don’t want to know……or live next to you.

Lighting

Lighting can be a very handy thing when you’re trying to get sexy. A little dim can go a long way. Candles are always a sure bet, or any lighting you have that has a dimmer switch. Overhead fluorescent lighting is going to get your snowsuit halfway off before you cry and zip that shit back up to your neck. Candlelight is flattering and won’t make you feel like you’re in a bad porn movie. Plus, according to most candle commercials, the scent can make you feel like you’re on a beach or some kind of extravagant getaway. Bonus.

Prepare Yourself

Shave legs. Shave armpits. Do whatever grooming to your downstairs that you want to do. If you have a full seventies situation going on down there then fluff it up with a pick or something. I don’t know. Just do whatever it is that makes you feel confident when you have your clothes off. Moisturize with scented lotion and and spray on perfume. If you’re going all out and your hair and makeup are going to be done, then choose touchable hair and makeup that will stay on throughout your endeavor. Do whatever you have to do that’s going to make you feel sexy and confident. If feeling sexy happens for you after three glasses of wine, then do that. I won’t judge. Some wine will most likely help you lose some of your inhibitions. Two bottles of wine however will make you pass out on the couch in your new undie set, don’t do that.

Toys

Ok, let me slam a beer and say a prayer that my mother in law isn’t reading this before I go here. Sooooo here’s the thing. Most people own toys. Some will talk about. Some won’t. I’m going to try to make this as painless as possible if this kind of thing makes you uncomfortable. When going to purchase said “accessory” you’re going to have to have no shame. You have to touch and see how things work to ensure its not going to burn your vagina off. I’m sorry, it’s just how it is. So if this is something you’re really considering, then throw that shame out the window. There is nothing to be ashamed of. You know what your body likes, work with that. Speak to someone working to send you over in the direction of what you’re looking for or else you’re going to end up in some kind of back alley section of the store you’ve only seen in your nightmares. Only buy quality, something made out of good materials that washes easily. If all of this is too much for you, then go online and research some of the top toy picks. You can read about what they have to offer and even purchase online if you’re worried about having to have a sexy conversation with Bob behind the counter.

Protection

If you aren’t on some kind of regular birth control and rely on condoms, maybe make sure that you have whatever you need in a drawer beside the bed. This is a lot of effort to have to go through to have to back out once you get started. Either that or you’re going to end up with a date night baby. I would personally prefer to wear underwear that I fashioned completely out of condoms rather than have a date night baby, but maybe that’s what you’re going for. If that’s the case then good luck, children are wonderful! Lol. And you don’t need to pay attention to this part anyway. To those of you that are planning this for someone new or maybe a one night stand, then keep yourself safe please. A super strong vibrator isn’t the only thing that can burn your vagina off. Remember that.

Fantasy

This ones pretty important. For a night, put being a mom or your job duties into the back of your brain. You’re about to play a pretty sexy role, so have fun with it. Don’t put a lot of pressure on having to be sexy. You will be. And lets be honest, your man probably won’t notice you even have a face after you roll out in lingerie. You might think of all the ways you feel you look foolish. They won’t. All they are thinking about is how awesome it is that they are about to have sex. No joke. So relax and have fun. You’re going to knock his socks off even if you fall off the bed…… And really, that can be fun too.

Being sexy doesn’t have to be terrible. Writing about it isn’t a fucking walk in the park though, and I powered through. Lol. So for the love of god I hope you take some tips away from this. And for those of you that didn’t pay attention to the protection segment, I’ll see you and your new addition in nine months.

xo Stephanie