Everyone has heard the horror stories. You took a pic of your lady parts and sent it to someone you trusted. Now you’re on the Internet for all the world to see. Now, I perfectly realize that no matter how much someone tells you not to do this, some of you are going to feel sexy enough at some point to fire a nude selfie off. People are sweet talkers. Maybe you will fall for it or maybe you’re just really feeling good that day. Whatever the case may be there are steps you can take that can help sending a nude be safe and flattering.
Keep It Simple
Don’t grab your photographer grade camera and tripod. Use your cell phone. It’s nonchalant and says that you really aren’t trying that hard (even though you might have just finished 1000 sit ups before you could work up the nerve). If you’re that worried about how the pic is going to turn out on your phone, then you’re really not being that spontaneous. Maybe rethink it or contact someone to take boudoir photos if you’re that worried about it.
Check Your Lighting
First of all, turn off that damn flash. It’s not going to do you any favors. Also check the room lighting. Dim and candles are flattering. Halogen lighting can give off a hospital vibe. Try to keep the lighting as soft as you can. Unless you’re actually taking it IN a hospital, then you might just have to let the cards fall wherever they may.
Look Behind You
No, I mean really look behind you. Do you have dirty clothes all over the floor? Is the toilet seat left up and if it is did you flush the toilet? Does it look like you’re about to take a nude picture in the middle of a pig sty? These are all things you need to consider before you press that button. Nothing ruins the sexiness that you are obviously trying to achieve like leaving a garbage full of tampon wrappers in the picture. This goes for cats and dogs as well. If you have any pets, kick them the hell out of there. If this is something you feel the need to do, then for the love of god tidy up a bit. Or at least take it in a corner of your place that gives the illusion of a clean background.
Keep It Simple Part Two
Girl, take that belly chain off. If you want this picture to come across as somewhat elegant, then strip off all of those bracelets, that watch, those rings and anything else that will just over complicate things. You’re probably going for simple and natural. Not like you just got done working at The Cheetah. No feather boa’s, no piles of diamonds. Those would be best kept for boudoir photos like I mentioned before.
Safety First
Before you press that send button please, please take some safety precautions. You always have to think in the back of your mind that there IS a possibility that it could get out. Phones get stolen or lost, and people sometimes don’t stick around forever. So take a few measures to protect yourself. Crop your head, if you’re naked chances are they won’t be looking at it anyway. If you have any tattoos try to stand in a way that they can be hidden. If they can’t be hidden maybe think about doctoring it with a bit of photoshop. Same goes for any piercings that can pin point it’s you. For instance, if I was ever going to send one I probably wouldn’t slide in a belly ring that spelled out my name. Get my drift? You have to think about these things when you’re dealing with something that could really bite your ass in the future.
Be Natural
Don’t get too crazy with your posing. Lean back, keep your lines long and lean. If you want, stand on your toes or slip on some heels to elongate your legs. Now is not the time to try out all of your America’s Next Top Model poses. You start playing around with that stuff then don’t even send it to anyone. You’re not doing it to turn someone on. You’re doing it because you want to play around in front of the mirror. Know the difference. If its something you’re doing just to pass the time, then chances are its not a good choice. Do your makeup and hair and take pics for your profile or something else.
Make Sure The Trust Is There
Is this person that you’re about to send this to your husband? Fiancée? Lover? Someone who has taken a blood oath with you? Someone who is accessible enough to murder if need be? If the answer is yes to any of these, then I probably can’t talk you out of doing this. These people are probably some of the most trusted people in your life. So if you’re going to snap away, then I don’t have much to say. However, if you used the phrase last week “oh my god! I met this hottie at the cluuuuub” to describe who you’re about to send it to then stop. That “hottie at the club” probably has a roster full of nude pics on his phone. And he’s not a deleting kind of guy. That shit’s gonna hang out on his phone for awhile. Until you can guarantee that someone wouldn’t want to hurt you with this kind of intimate gesture, then put your top back on.
I understand why so many people pull the trigger and fire off a pic to someone that they think is interested in them. It’s just in this day and age, anyone can pretend to have feelings for you through text or over Facebook. For a lot of people it’s a game. The end result is to add up the tally of all of the nude pics they’ve managed to acquire. I’m not telling you what to do, I’m just asking you to make safe choices. If you have only spoken to someone over text, even if they are reciting Shakespearian sonnets to you the whole time, that’s really not a trustworthy make. At the end of the day taking a sexy photo is supposed to make you feel just that….sexy. Not make you hyperventilate into a bag for a week while you check the Internet waiting for it to show up. And if it just so happens that your pic does get out then let me know, we could probably hide a body in a flash (not a camera flash, I told you earlier to turn that shit off) lol.
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