I remember a time when boobs were all the rage. Cleavage was something that got a lot of attention, from everyone. Then all of a sudden it became all about the ass. I never learned how to dress to accent my bum. Like I said earlier, I wasn’t really paying attention to it. I was always surrounded by girls that never liked their asses. They were always “too big” or they didn’t like how they looked. Then Jennifer Lopez hit the scene and all of a sudden there was an ass revolution. And it became ok to have curves, which was great to see. Then it became all about how to accent your ass and make it look better. So if you’re feeling sassy, here are some tips to flatter your behind.

The Right Pants

Just like flare pants balance out thighs, slim pants draw attention to your back end. Or as I like to call it, your “dumper”. If you don’t like wearing super skinny jeans like I don’t, then you can always opt for a cigarette pant. It has the same ass accenting effect without being tight down to your ankles. I always feel like a giant turkey with my drumsticks on display when I wear pants that are too skinny.

Hello Indigo

The darker the jean, the smaller and tighter your butt will look. I’m not even joking about this. Plus it still accents it. Where as if you cover it in black denim sometimes it gets too camouflaged and will get lost. You don’t want that. You want some booty happening back there. If you are wearing white denim, try to choose a thicker denim because they will help shape you.

Look At The Rise

If you have an itty bitty ass, then you can do the whole “low rise” thing. They are going to make that but look as cute as a button. A waistband hitting the navel will make your ass look more round and not wide.

The Right Pockets

Pocket placement can make a huge difference. Large pockets can actually make your ass look larger than it is and smaller pockets can make it look smaller. Pockets that sit lower tricks the eyes into thinking your ass sits higher. Now there’s nothing wrong with that trickery. Note to self: acquire low pockets.

Nip And Tuck

No I don’t mean plastic surgery. I mean take your damn pants to see a tailor. You wouldn’t believe the difference having your pants the correct length or taking them in where they gape a bit can make. It turns them from frumpy to perfect.

Praise The Pencil

I have said time and time again that the pencil skirt is a woman’s best friend. Not only does it ooze sex appeal and make you look like you have a hint of fifties bombshell in you, but it does your ass a lot of good. Please remember though that if the fit is too baggy it will make your behind look bigger. Too tight and it will flatten it. To accent your ass have a tailor nip in the center back seam, just below the rear.

Say No To Shimmer

It actually hurt me to write that. I love me some shimmer, but not if its going to make my ass look bigger. Shine draws eyes to that area and brings out any imperfections. So if your not in love with your butt, keep the silk with sheen, satin and taffeta to up top.

Put Those Heels On

Heels do a lot of wonders for legs. They lengthen them, make them look leaner, and can give their appearance over all a thinner look. Well, they do your ass some good too. When you stand in high heels, they put an arch in your back that lifts your ass up and gives it more shape.

Leggings: The Devils Fake Pants

Ok, so the thing with leggings is that they are not pants. They are leggings. So in areas that are bigger than others they become more transparent because the fabric is pulled more taught. Even on the tightest ass they can show any lump or bump. So if you are going to insist on wearing them out then at least give yourself a good once over standing in natural light to see if you’re giving away more than you want to. Either that or wear a top that covers the whole underpant area.

If In Doubt, Fake Them Out

If you are going out and you really don’t like how your but looks in what you’re wearing, then try the Hollywood way. By that I mean Spanks. They are going to tighten and lift everything ya got. You won’t feel sexy in them because, well, they don’t look sexy. But the whole point is so that you feel good in your outfit. No one can see what you have got going underneath there. And if you have a hot date then please remember to strip those off before any kind of sex happens.

The Bikini Trick

If you hate being in a swimsuit because you don’t feel like your ass is one hundred percent beach ready, then you could do the spray tan trick. Now keep in mind that this isn’t really for every trip to the beach with your dog. This would be for a pool party where you have to be around lots of people. You can ask your spray tanner to give you a “faux butt lift”. This is where they will spray half of a heart on each cheek, shading the outer sides of the butt. Then they leave the top part a little lighter to give the illusion that your ass is higher. Genius, right?

Suck It Up

The only way to really feel good about your butt is through plain old exercise. Or in the ass world, its known as squats and lunges. Yes, they suck. Yes, you’re going to hate them. But if you really want to change how your ass looks without painting it before you hit the beach, then this is the only real way to get the results that you want. Or as I explain it to my husband when he hears me swearing in agony ” just trying to keep it right and tight”.

There are just some areas of the body that each of us are uncomfortable with or wish that we could change. I don’t know why. I’m not magic and I can’t explain this crazy. Chances are you have a sweet dumper (that word is going to grow on you, I promise) and it’s just you thinking that it could be better. If it’s something that you have a struggle with then let me say this…… Shut up and love yourself. We only have one life, stop worrying about what your ass looks like. On the other hand I feel you. So try out some of these tips. If they give you that little dose of ass self esteem that you needed then Bazinga! I hope that they get you closer to embracing the amazingness that is your ass.

xo Stephanie