A couple of years ago I was asked to stand up in a wedding so I decided to get a spray tan. Now I don’t mean the kind of spray tan that you step into an automated booth and you get lightly misted with tanner. I mean a spray tan where someone sprays you with a gun. So for any of you that want to give it a try, this is what you can look forward to.
Welcome To The Fan Room
When I went, I was ushered into a room that had a gigantic fan on one wall. I think it’s purpose was to suck in leftover tanning spray….and to scare me. You can also have it done in something that looks like a spaceship tent. Either way, its to catch the leftover tanner and to help it dry. Don’t be scared. The only thing to be scared about is the amount of air that’s about to be shot at your cooch. Which brings me to the second step….
Get Naked
Yes, the person in charge of spraying your body down with color will ask you to undress. If you’re a little more shy you can leave your bra and underwear on. The more you leave on, however, the more lines there will be. I left my thong on and stripped the rest off like I was being paid to. In hind sight I wouldn’t have chosen a thong that had a lace front because yes, I did have that pattern on my lady parts for about a week. So if you choose to leave your underwear on, make sure they are plain, cotton undies.
Introduce Yourself
When I’m nervous I talk. I talk and I tell bad jokes. So I’m sure that the lady spraying me was thrilled. I would rather become her best friend while I had breasts high and nipples to the sky over not saying a word though. You have to be somewhat comfortable. She’s going to be blotting drips and extra tanner off of your body, so you might as well try to make it an alright experience for everyone involved. You could stick to regular chit chat like ” so, do you have any children? If so how many? What are their ages?” Ect. If you’re like me you ask questions that normal people wouldn’t. I think that I asked how many naked people she saw in a day, if lots of men get it done, and what the weirdest tan line she’s seen was. The answer by the way was a t shirt tan line because the male client wanted to keep his shirt on. Interesting, right?
Prepare To Get Blasted
So, you stand arms spread out and legs apart and she comes at you with a spray gun. It’s cold, its wet, and its not the most comfortable thing in the world. Sometimes the tanner will start to run down your body in long drips and she will dab them with a towel. She will do your front and then turn you around so that you can have your back done. By the time you’re done you’re like a butter soaked noodle. I was ok with that though, because I would rather know I was covered than worry if I would have streaks because not enough spray was used. I swayed back and forth the whole time like I was doing some kind of dance. I figured that at this point she had gotten the gist of my personality, so not much was going to surprise her at this point of the game. We laughed the whole time and talked about just about every topic you could touch base on. All in all I was relieved that I had someone like her doing the job. She seemed to be more quiet than me, but most people are. And I wasn’t concentrating on misting someone’s nude ass with tanning spray.
Wait To Dry
You have to wait a little bit of time to dry before you can get dressed so that the tanner can really set. You feel tacky to the touch and its a little uncomfortable. I just milled around the room nude because hey, why not? She had already seen what I had to offer. There was no point in acting shy or demure now. After about fifteen minutes you get to put your clothes back on. Take older clothes like sweats and a t shirt because even when you can get dressed the spray will still be tacky and feel a bit wet. The color had already started developing and I was dark. I chose the darkest spray because I already had a pretty good tan going. Well, I definitely got what I asked for. So I was pretty thrilled at the results.
Scare People
Before I went home my friend and I stopped at a drive through because a) I’m not afraid of looking like an ass and b) because I was hungry. It was just starting to get dark outside and when the girl went to hand my my food all she saw was white teeth. Literally. Like the Cheshire Cat. That’s how quickly my color was developing. So I figured I should probably get into my house before it was all done. Home we went before I had the chance to scare any school children.
Wait
Before I went to bed I looked in the mirror one last time to see how it was coming along. I was officially the color of my dark brown mini fridge. To the point where I had a freak out. Don’t do this. You wait over the night for the color to finish and in the morning have a shower. I promise you will look darker before you shower then you will after. Don’t freak out and hop in the shower and immediately start scrubbing. That could do more bad than good. Just ride it out. It will be fine, I promise. Oh and if you like your sheets, maybe throw on some old pj’s that can get color on them. I actually threw down an old blanket and slept on top of it so I wouldn’t be rubbing my color all over my good sheets.
Shower
In the morning I hopped in the shower. The water instantly went a brown color when it touched me and I thought great ” nothing like getting naked for a stranger for no damn reason”. I thought that none of the color had stuck and I was piiiissed. When I dried off though, I had the most wonderful dark golden tan ever. It was amazing and worth every naked second. I’m not a huge fan of the automatic spray tan machines because I feel like they can leave you with a bit of an orange tint. This. Was. Fabulous. So I threw some lotion on all over to keep my skin as moist as I could to lock the color in. The more moisturized you keep your skin, the longer you can keep your gorgeous new tan. It’s that simple.
That my friends is what it’s like to get sprayed with a tanning gun. It’s not the most pleasant experience, but if you go in with the right attitude you can have some good laughs and end up with an amazingly believable tan. I know my friends and I have taken our tops of for less (LOL I should be getting at least one phone call for that joke). I highly suggest everyone tries this at least once. I promise you won’t regret it.
Any advice on whether vampire skin redheads like myself should try out the spray gun tan? I’ve always wanted a really nice looking tan but I only freckle 🙁 I do the sunless tanning lotion thing, but would like to pamper myself with something more substantial…
Yes!!! Do it. You really won’t regret it. I wouldn’t go for the dark because your skin IS light. But I would definitely do light or medium. I would just ask whoever is spraying you what would work better. She will be candid with you. They don’t want you to leave disappointed. I think it’s something you should try, even if its only once. Let me know if you take the plunge!!