I recently celebrated another birthday. As someone that hates birthdays, I usually have to reflect (with one million drinks) and think of the ways I’ve become better (if there are any). So I wanted to share with you some of the realizations I’ve made this year.

It’s Not All Cherries And Berries

Things happen and luck changes. It’s not going to defeat you if you have the right attitude. It will however teach you a lesson if you allow yourself to learn it. Money may come and go, friendships fall out, health changes. These things don’t dictate your life, your reaction to them does. I’m that person that tries to stay positive throughout a lot of things that get thrown at me. Some days it works, and some days I cry in the shower. You’re not going to have a perfect reaction to some stuff but you have to remember that things can always be worse. Always.

Some People Will Never Understand You …. And They Don’t Have To

I’m very sarcastic and I joke around a lot. It’s just how I cope with every situation. Uncomfortable or not. I also look a certain way. Between my mouth and the fact that I’m covered in accessories, some people just don’t know what to think. I used to be hurt by it all the time until my neighbor said something to me last weekend. We were having some drinks and she said “Before I knew you, I used to look at you and think that you had the worlds highest self esteem. Then I got to know you and you barely have any, you’re the hardest on yourself all the time”. Seriously, no truer words have ever been spoken. I have a great poker face when I go out, inside I’m dying of an anxiety attack. I’ve heard so many things about myself that I never want to come across as vulnerable in public. I’m somewhat guarded all the time. People say that my husband should never put up with me because I’m so high maintenance (Stop by my house and it’s sweat pants, no makeup and weave showing. All the time, every time). Or that my hair costs eight hundred dollars a month ( My husband would have shaved my head in my sleep a long damn time ago if that was the case). The fact of the matter is, I can’t fight these things. I can only take it as a compliment that people think I, A)Have that kind of money, because I don’t. I have a mortgage payment and a five year old thanks. I don’t even know what eight hundred dollars looks like except for when it’s being used to pay bills. Or that B) I’ve tricked people into thinking I’m that kind of fabulous. The only thing I can do is hope that the people that actually know me will defend me if the time should ever come. It’s hard, but the only people I should be putting effort into are the ones that are kind to me. Otherwise, I’m taking time away from them to fight battles that I’ll never win.

If You Don’t Want To Be Judged, Then Don’t Throw Judgment Around Yourself

This one was a hard one for me to learn. It took a long time and I’m still guilty of doing it sometimes. Every time I want to lay a judgment call down on the table, I have to remind myself of how people have judged me and gotten it completely wrong. I don’t want to be that person. Everyone is going through things that you don’t know about. Of course there are just plain old assholes too, but they became that way for a reason. (There are exceptions to this rule, some people are just jerks. Stay away from those ones). I especially try to use this when it comes to women. It took a long time to be comfortable enough with myself to walk up to a woman that I don’t know and pay them a compliment. It’s so worth it though. I’ve been having a bad day and have had people compliment me on what I’ve been wearing and it turned my day right around. Sometimes a little bit of kindness goes a long way. It goes a lot farther than a glare and a fast judgment on their character.

The People You Expect To Be There Sometimes Won’t Be And People You Thought Wouldn’t Be Are There With Bells On

I live in a small town and starting this website taught me a lot. There are people that love me that have never really given my site a second glance and then there are people that I thought would never spend their time on it that have become some of my biggest cheerleaders. I’m not saying that everyone in my life has to read it or support me, my point is to be grateful for those people that you didn’t expect to give you a chance. It’s nice to know that maybe the whole point of my site is paying off a bit, to get people to see another side of me. It’s one thing for my friends and family to read what I have to say (mainly because they have to lol) but when people that don’t have an iron in the fire with me take time out of their day to read about what I’m doing, it’s very special and I’m extremely grateful.

Most Of All, Try A Little Patience

I have the worst patience in the world. My husband laughs at me all the time because when it comes to something that I’m doing, I want it done perfectly and I want it done now. Getting sick kind of put a huge monkey wrench in that plan. It’s been a year and I still have at least five more doctors appointments before surgery will even be considered. It’s draining and I want to cry all the time. However, I keep trying to tell myself that this won’t affect my son. It could be so much worse that I’m embarrassed when I complain about it. My son is happy and healthy. I still have the ability to play with him everyday and that’s not even close to being in jeopardy with my health issue. A lot of people have it a hell of a lot worse than I do. Does it suck feeling this way all the time? Yes. Could it suck way worse? Yes. The fact of the matter is, I get to wake up in the morning in my own bed, be with my family and live my life the way I always have. Things could obviously be a lot worse. There is no “maybe things will go back to normal for me”. They automatically will as soon as this surgery is done and over with. So basically, life just said “this year we are learning how to be more patient Stephanie”. When there’s a lesson involved, as shitty as it may be, you usually come out of it a better and stronger person after.

Do What Makes You Happy….. As Long As It’s Not Illegal

I write a lot about trends, makeup, beauty ect. Mainly for people that want the knowledge of how to do a smokey eye or how to dress for your body type. These are things that some people find interesting but never really understood it. I write about it to steer those people in the right direction. There are times that I feel guilty because I don’t want everyone to think that I’m dictating the only way that things can be done. I try to go for the most flattering, easiest and cheapest way to get results that you’re going to love. However, if you aren’t comfortable with trying something new, don’t. I want to help women feel more comfortable in their skin, not tell them that they can only wear certain things. I rarely change my own damn hair, I’ve just learned what I like and how to work with what I’ve got. The same goes for makeup. I would never splash a bunch of color on my face even if Cosmo tells me I’ll look better after. You can take trends and beauty and make them your own. Don’t ever feel like you’re only fashionable if you buy an outfit more than your rent. That’s bullshit. You can take a fifty cent shirt from a vintage shop and make an outfit out of it that will trick people into thinking you’re wearing designer. I take a lot of shit about how I dress, at the end of the day I’m comfortable. That’s how I choose to look. It’s not the most expensive outfit and it’s not off of the runway, but it’s me. When it comes to your looks, stay authentic to you. We have one of everybody else.

Thank you to all of you that sent Happy Birthday wishes my way. I had a great day that was pretty low key with some great friends. Now to see what lessons this year will bring!

xo Stephanie