I figured I should write a post about things that you might not know about me. If you do know these things, then it’s probably time to start a club lol. Just kidding. It just means that when I’ve let people into my world, you were one of the only people that paid attention. So here we go. No judging, please and thanks.

1. My mom passed away shortly after I was born so I never got to really know her. What I have known has been through family and family friends. Over the past two years I’ve also lost my mother-in-law and stepmom. This has made me believe that I’m destined to never have someone who will play a mom role in my life. Like when they were handing out mom tickets, they were just like “and none for Gretchen Wieners”. (Only Mean Girls junkies will get that one). I feel cheated all of the time. So it’s very hard for me to connect with other women.

2. I am Ukrainian, Swedish and Scottish. So it’s just a mixed bag of perogies, blonde hair and fun over here.

3. My husband and I are high school sweethearts. It wasn’t the dreamiest of relationships at the beginning, but I could never picture myself with anyone else. No matter what challenges we face (and yes, there are many challenges), I can’t imagine tackling them without him. He’s my grumpy lobster.

4. He proposed to me by putting my engagement ring around our cats collar on Christmas. My best friend called to tell me she was engaged and I immediately started stirring the gravy I was making for supper like it had just called me a derogatory name because I was like where the fuck is mine?!? All the while the ring was literally under my nose. At one point Derek had to leave the house for a bit and called to see how things were going and I told him that we were looking for the cat because it had gotten outside. I was met with “find him” that was said through clenched teeth. Finally at midnight, he brought the cat into the room and pinned him down in front of me like they were in a wrestling match. Finally I saw the ring……. about 13 hours after the fact.

5. Which leads me into….I’m oblivious. I honestly am. I don’t know where you live. I don’t know what you drive. I don’t know where you work. I know how you treat me. That’s it and that’s all. I’m the most useless gossip you’ll ever meet. Just ask my friends.

6. I’m addicted to every version of Real Housewives. Atlanta being my favourite. Maybe it’s because I’m so bad at gossiping that I now live vicariously through their drama. Actually, what I think it is, is that what I’m watching can generally dictate my mood. If I watch too much crime or drama, I start to get super high strung and it puts me in a bad mood. So I like to stick to “fluff”. It makes me a happier person. I also watch 30 Rock every night while I’m falling asleep.

7. I’m the most self conscious in skinny jeans. All I can feel when I walk anywhere in them is that I look like two giant turkey legs. Big. Cartoon. Turkey legs.

8. When I was pregnant, I saw my son in a dream. I was holding him and I was so happy because he was the cutest, sweetest little boy I had ever seen. When I woke up I started to cry and told my husband “We are having a boy. I just saw him in my dream and now I’m sad because that’s just mean if our baby doesn’t look like that and comes out looking like a gremlin”. Nope. A month later we were told we were having a boy, and when he was born he was who I had met in my dream. I know it’s crazy, but that’s how it went.

9. I hate Christmas and Birthdays. I think something terrible happened to me at Christmas or on Birthdays in a past life. The songs make me cry. Christmas Day makes me cry. I cringe at the thought of opening gifts and end up having to slink away and open them in the dark somewhere. They’re just not for me.

10. I’ve always said I was only going to have one child. I don’t know why, but that’s just how I always envisioned my life. Then after I had Cash, I was told I had to have an embolization to get rid of tumours in my uterus (fibroids), so the option for another child wouldn’t be there anymore. As much as I knew that we probably wouldn’t have had any more kids anyway, there’s still a twinge of sadness whenever I see a new baby. Just a split second of feeling sorry for myself before my son races in and asks for a million Pokemon cards. Needless to say, the sadness is always short lived when I realize I’m luckier than some with the healthy boy that I have. It’s even more short lived when I realize he has his moms mouthy ways and my hands are going to be full enough.

Well, that was harder than I thought it would be. I would also like to point out that my husband was NO help when I asked him to help me. “Tell them how your mouth is open the whole time you’re watching a T.V show. You just stare at the T.V and a fly could fly right in there and you wouldn’t notice. Nice. Thanks for making me rethink number three Derek.

xoSG