So I’ve heard all about this oil pulling craze and wanted in on the big secret. For those of you that don’t know, you take some oil ( coconut, sesame, olive, ect) and swish it around in your mouth for 5 to 20 minutes. When you’re done you spit it out and it is supposed to have pulled all of the gross out of there. I love me a holistic remedy for most things, but I’m also a skeptic…..a pretty big one.
So off to the bathroom with my vat of oil I went. Well, let me fill you in on one part. Swishing fucking oil around in your mouth is a bad time. For me it was anyway. I imagine that’s what your tongue would feel like if you licked an otters fur. Greasy. And the more you swish it, the more it kind of mixes with your saliva, making the grease ball even thicker. I hope you’re gagging right now because I am. I persevered though, because the list of health benefits is just too good to pass up. Then came the spitting.
Have you ever had to spit when you were at the dentist and a long string falls out of your mouth that never wants to break. It just hangs there, waiting around for something. Then imagine one made completely out of greasy oil and mouth bacteria. All I could imagine was oil pullings biggest advocate Gwyneth Paltrow dealing with this shit. I grabbed a roll of paper towel and started to try to clean myself up. Oh, and I forgot to mention that swishing for twenty minutes makes your bottom jaw not work anymore. So between the oily spit face and lack of ability to enunciate, I was a real prize.
I bet you’re wondering what my results were. Are you ready? You’re going to be astonished. The results are as follows: you would probably have to do that hellish procedure for at least a week straight to get any kind of results. Which I had every intention to do, until I tried it once and died inside. I realize it can whiten your teeth, and help your gums, and even sooth a sore throat. The only problem for me is it will defeat the purpose when I throw up after every time I do it. Now I’m not telling you not to try it. I would actually really like you to. Then you could fill me in on your results and let me know if I’m just destined to use white strips for the rest of my life. I’m very curious if everyone screaming about loving oil pulling from the mountain tops are just wrapped up in a fad, or if they actually really do love it.
So the next time you’re bored and wanting to feel foolish and unattractive, grab some oil and start swishing. I’m gagging to hear your results…..I mean dying to hear them. And just so you have a little more inspiration to try it, I will list some of the benefits of oil pulling. Oh and please remember to brush your teeth after and rinse your mouth. You don’t want to swallow any of the bad toxins that were pulled from your gullet. Good luck!
Oil Pulling Benefits
Whiter Teeth
Healthier Gums
Prevents Bad Breath
Decreases Headaches
Clears Sinuses
Improves Asthma
Improves Lymphatic System
Alleviates Allergies
Helps You Sleep
Clears Skin
Makes You Throw Up ( ok, ok. I threw that one in there )
Okay, officially not going to do that. Actually, I never planned to because it’s disgusting. I’m sure anyone who does it and loves it is an absolute liar. As for the whiter teeth thing.. Well I prefer my moms old way – good old baking soda. Still yucky but not as bad as swishing oil around in your mouth. Yuck.
For me it was really just a texture thing. I just can’t do it. Can’t. I wish I could to see if I get results, but alas I’m just not willing to do that to myself lol.
I actually didn’t mind it so much. Once I got over the intial “Oh god, what did I just put in my mouth” feeling, I kind of enjoyed it. But I only remembered to do it for two days before I automatically reached for the toothbrush again. Haha
I’ve read quite a lot of positive suggestion towards oil pulling and I think it would be fair to see negative ones as well. I think I will still give oil pulling a try. If I really hate it, I can just quit (no one forces me to do that anyway) :-p
Lydia
Oh absolutely! I tried it because of the list of amazing benefits, but I just can’t do the texture. If you do decide to try it, let me know how it goes for you!