A long time ago, I worried about how people saw me. Constantly worried about how I came across, and what people thought about me after I left a room. Would they talk about me? Did they like me? Was I weird? Well, the answers to those questions were yes, no, yes lol. Yes, they did talk about me. No, they didn’t like me and yes, I was fucking weird. It’s just who I am.
Now, don’t be feeling sorry for me. I am who I am and I’m pretty ok with it now. How did I get through? I removed myself from those rooms. The rooms I damn well didn’t belong in. The rooms I hoped to be liked in. The rooms that would never “get” me, no matter how hard I tried.
I know. Sometimes we HAVE to be in those rooms. For work, for kids activities, and sometimes because your friends are in those rooms. That’s ok. That’s called being an adult. Sometimes you just have to go with the flow, even if you know that you don’t fit in. Be kind. Make small talk. You’ll be fine. Just don’t roll in with a super duper big secret that you tell someone because you’ve had to many drinks. Just don’t. You’ll have to move away and start a new life in another town if you do that. So, please be mindful of your surroundings. Not every room will have people in it that have your back or your best interest. Listen to your gut and you’ll be ok.
I’ve always been proud of my ability to read a room. To see stuff coming. To get out before it gets bad. To have my safety net of people who I love and trust. As do you as well. You know who I’m talking about. The ones you can say anything in front of. The ones who will never tell your secrets. The ones who genuinely love your soul and heart. The ones that make your life better, not harder. Aren’t we lucky?
The reason why I’m writing this is because I want to say thank you. I want to say thank you to any of you who that has been kind to me in those rooms. That have had my back. That once upon a time, might have heard something about me and didn’t judge me for it. You have added so much to my self worth that I can’t thank you enough. It’s hard sometimes to see everything you offer the world and the people around you. It’s so easy to focus on what you’re not getting right, that you don’t focus on how you make people feel when you’re around them. I can guarantee that you are someone’s favourite person in the whole world. Your advice, your laugh, your kindness, your warmth are all stuck in someone’s brain forever because you’re that special to them. This is what you need to remember on days where you might not love yourself. Everyone is busy. If someone checks in on you, tells you to drive safe, listens to you when you are down, takes time to send you something they know you’ll like, then be grateful, even for just that moment. That moment in time they were thinking about you and your special bond. It may seem small, but an act of kindness never is.
So, after reading this please do me a small favour. The winter months are long and lots of people right now need a little spark to get their self love flame burning again. If after reading this someone comes to mind that does these things for you, please thank them. Send them a meme. Tag them in this post. Anything that tells them that you appreciate them and their heart. It takes two seconds to remind someone how special they are. It can take one message to give someone their spark back.
Here’s to moving forward in 2023 with love and kindness. Yeah, you can drink wine and talk shit a couple of times too, we all do it. I won’t take that away from anyone. I’m just saying, let’s make 2023 the year of your highest self worth yet. For us, and for the people we love. Be weird. Leave those rooms where you don’t belong. I promise you’ll find one that loves your weird ass for who you are. And when you find that room, thank them. Thank them for seeing you. Thank them for giving you a spark when you needed it. You stick with people like that and together you’ll be a whole fucking bonfire.
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