I usually don’t talk about my personal stuff. A lot of the time I don’t really bring it up to my friends until I absolutely have to (sorry guys, but you all know me well enough by now to know the mess you’re dealing with). Lately I’ve been having some health problems. I woke up one morning with a giant lump in my pelvis. Well, panic ensued. I do not handle things like this elegantly. I first thought that it was a bladder infection or something so I dragged my ass down to the doctor to be told no. Then he sent me down to the hospital for blood work which turned me into a crying mess. I waited for four days hoping to hear what I wanted to hear…. That it was something that I could take some pills for and be ok. I got a call that I needed to go for an ultrasound. Perfect.
I like to mask my panic with jokes. Really, really bad jokes. So finally after a week, off to the ultrasound I went, bad jokes ready. After smearing me with gel and playing around on my very full bladder, I then had an internal with some kind of space wand. Seriously, how else do you describe that thing. It wasn’t unpleasant, but it was definitely some kind of space wand. Long story short, I found out I have two very large fibroids. One on each side because evidentially even my uterus is a perfectionist. On the left I have one that’s larger than a baseball and on the right, one larger than that. For those of you that don’t know what a fibroid is, it’s a non cancerous tumor. Well, it’s very rarely cancerous anyway. Women get them all the time. I was relieved. I have a five year old sons face flashing in front of my eyes every time I think something is wrong. Fibroids, well, those I can deal with.
The thing about these uterus devils is that they zap your energy. I feel as though I’m five months pregnant without the thrill of a new baby. I feel heavy. I feel like I’m in someone else’s body. I feel uncomfortable. I hate getting dressed, which is awesome for someone that has a site talking about fashion and beauty. However, I don’t want to complain because it could be so much worse. At the end of the day this won’t really affect my family for which I am grateful.
Where I’m going with this is that I needed to get out without even knowing it. I went to one of my best friends on a Wednesday at four and came home at three. There were only a few of us there, all good friends. We listened to music, we drank beer, we took fun pictures, and we laughed. The thing about having a night with your friends is that no matter how shitty you are, you always laugh. I didn’t even realize how much I needed it. They know what’s going on and won’t let me feel sorry for myself. I love them for that. I want to always be able to look at the cup as being half full, but some days it’s just hard to do. That’s when they step in and it works every time.
When you get together with friends it’s good for your mind, your body and your soul. In the winter I can bunker down in my house and lose the urge to visit altogether. You can’t do that. When I came home I was obviously returning with the same problem that I left with, but I felt better (and no it wasn’t just because I was rifled). I felt lighter, I was positive again. My cup was back to being half full. It was an immediate boost for me that still has me feeling much better. They say that laughter is the best medicine, well I dare you to disprove that theory when you’re in a room full of your friends.
So, the next time that you’re feeling not quite yourself, have a night with your gals. Not saying that the boys aren’t fun too! Our husbands started off with us on Wednesday and they make me laugh my ass off as well, but they always slip away into the shadows after their women start playing Fleetwood Mac and singing. I don’t blame them. There is something to be said with just having feminine energy in the room. The mood is different. It’s healing and therapeutic. It’s a different vibe when you’re making vagina and uterus jokes in a room full of dudes. It just simply doesn’t go over that well, unless you want to hear “gross” yelled across the room lol.
Thank you to my girls. Thank you for listening. Thank you for reading the things that I write. Thank you for making me laugh. Thank you for always filling me with good vibes and energy. Thank you for knowing when I need you even when I might not realize that I do. Thank you for yanking my secrets out and making me talk about them. Thank you for the unconditional love, support and protection. Also, thank you for the beer because I sure didn’t bring any on Wednesday. Thank you for the girls night out, I can’t wait to do it again.
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